this post... how odd it is that I (at this point anyway) would NEVER consider taking OTC, chemical based laxative pills but I didn't blink when I decided to make sure I'd be empty tomorrow for my weigh in... knowing that would involve drinking an herbal laxative.
In a similar vain... I do not make myself purge. I kinda hate vomiting and never was able to trigger my gag reflex the few times I did try when I was younger... BUT, if I got sick and felt as if I was going to throw up... depending on how my day was, I might actually try to help it along by coughing or whatever rather than fight it.
Also... I wouldn't let myself take diet pills the last few days because I was worried they were causing a reaction in my thyroid (will test it out tomorrow if I don't spend my whole morning in the bathroom X[ ), but today when I wanted to make sure I got a decent work out in, I didn't think twice about swigging down some energy drink which has similar ingredients in it (not entirely true... I did think twice, but it was more of a 'do I deserve to use something that will make this easier?' kinda thing... which I decided I did because I was able to front being energetic pretty well today even though I felt super super drained... had I failed to be spunky enough to pass for normal me I don't think I would have let myself have it as incentive to do better next time. After the recent comments, I've decided 'hiding out in the open' as a fat person crash-dieting isn't working out so well, so I gotta start just plan old... hiding.)
Sooo... the questions for today are...
1. Will I sleep through the night lol? (only time will tell...)
2. Is using a natural supplement just a way for me to deny that I am starting to abuse laxies (and other diet aids like Energy drinks etc)? I mean... I don't actually *need* any help this time, I just used it to meet a certain time table.
3. Am I blurring the lines I've drawn a bit too much?
4. How different is hypothetically allowing something to happen from making it happen?
Hmmmm......... better get to bed before cramping starts! Really hopping for a loss btw... which is why I'm doing this. I felt smaller today, despite being bloated from all the food soo... *crosses fingers*