Food/Calories as a double edged sword...

It is my opinion that calories/food are a double edged sword in each person's weight-loss efforts. One side gives our bodies needed nutrients, helps keep our metabolism up etc. On the other side, the calories may be stored as fat, slow down fat loss because they fulfill our bodies needs, etc....

The last few months, my behavior has been pseudo-ana... Especially this last month, where I didn't go over 600 calories, and averaged at a daily deficit of 1900 calories. It was a very productive month, weight loss wise, and THAT is because every gram I ate was multi-purpose... doubled edged yes, but the nutrient/calorie balance made it so that the "good" side was WAY sharper than the bad side.

However... I'm scared that I may cause long-lasting damage to my metabolism if I keep it up, so this month I am going to increase my calories a bit... and have *some* food (nuts) which aren't quite as positively unbalanced as the veggies etc I've been eating are. I am nervous that I won't lose weight... or worse yet, I'll gain... but I'm kinda caught between a rock and a hard place... I know I can keep restricting and losing, but my rational brain says I shouldn't do that... at least not for more than a month at a time, because it will just make me regain everything when I decide I'm ready to maintain.

I'm not that deep in right now... and despite it being hard, and kind of scary, this will be the easiest time for me to step back from that edge, and re-define the "line" a little bit more on the side of 'healthy'. The longer I wait... the harder it will get. So... June is an experiment. stay tuned if you are interested in the results =]