Feeling like Abby :D

Thanks for the comments girls! They, along with a few other things have helped pick up my mood a lot and I'm feeling much more me and much less ED which makes me happy.

Anonymous said...
i accidentally found your blog because i was trying to look for recipes using green tea..i used to count my calorie intake but i stopped because i got tired...how do you count the calories you've burnt?

I've just made a FAQ to answer that question because a lot of people ask me about that or the charts I make =] In short, I have a device I wear all the time that counts for me, but the posts will show you more about how it works =] As for counting... I'll never be able to stop anyway... not unless I let BED back into my life, which will NOT happen.

But... to make it easier what I have done is cut down the variety of food I eat a lot. Learning what serving size of foods you commonly eat = how many calories and sort of making a list of exchangeable foods can certainly help... but if you can be happy without it, than please continue on as you are =] Calorie counting is time consuming no matter how you do it, and it's possible to be healthier without getting that detailed just by making smart choices =]

Dande said:
Well, that person super contradicted themself, didn't they? 'Concerned' about your weight loss and then claiming 'it doesn't show'... Yeah right, more like ENVIOUS of your weight loss, and then trying to say something discouraging because they're jealous and want you to fail, so they can continue kidding themselves that losing weight is really too hard to actually be achieved.

Snort. My mother does the same. Don't sweat over it, 44lbs is definitely noticeable, no matter what size you started out at! As proved by the fact they noticed! Don't let the haters bring you down girl.

Love, Dande x


Yes, well, kind of. They said it didn't show my face well which is where it's most noticeable... fair enough I guess, but it still was triggering as the one area I want need to shrink more than anything else is my hips/thighs... My face has always been thinner than the rest of my body... so I don't care that it's changed (as much anyway...) ugh- I hate being female sometimes :( Why can't the fat burn off more evenly D:?

Anyway, the person probably does have some emotions in play here but I don't think it's envy. She gave up on weight loss and choose food > most other things a long time ago. I think rather she may feel that my choice to be thin > most anything else (though she probably *hopefully* doesn't realize it's that strong a compulsion...) is a rejection/judgment of her.She's one of those FA, Healthy at any size kinda people... and I'm rejecting all of that, so I'm sure that's where some of it may come from.

Yesterday

The good: 

• no gain despite eating SO FUCKING MUCH. Thank god. Not sure how today will be though. I haven't ... been to the restroom yet and can't weigh in until all the crap that went in yesterday (literally) comes back out...
• I made myself do some things after work to make me smile that aren't sick... Like, I went and had some beautiful tea, and looked at some pretty jewelry. 
• I purposefully didn't burn many calories after work UNTIL it was time to work out so that I could work hard and not feel like a lazy slob after it while still not exceeding my goals too much. It worked a little bit to elevate my mood... I wasn't happy about it during the downtime bits, but by the end of my work out things had evened out emotionally.
• I had 2 cups of Oolong tea, but aside from that, no caffeine or other stimulants. I definitely felt the difference, but was able to function well... I'm proud of this, but won't keep it up for long I'm sure. 

My mega big lunch... Daunting to me now, it probably would have seemed really healthy and awesome not too long ago D:

334 calories (more than half what I usually eat in a DAY)...
more fat in one meal than I generally eat in one day D:
8 grams of fiber... so very filling.
Minus the sauce and cheese it would be what I eat daily but... those two UNNEEDED items make it what it is right now...
a calorie adding gut busting nightmare D:

The ugly:

• I nearly threw out half of my breakfast because it was too hard to eat... but instead I just waited a few minutes and made myself eat more... good job! But, ugly emotions.
• I'd be lying if I said I cannot WAIT until THURSDAY when I won't have to eat all this... and I'm thinking about doing a water fast that day before starting my protien fast =X 

Good outweighs ugly, so good day overall!