5/30/2011 10:52:00 PM

Pretty People

Because it's been too long.


Subdued colors are fun.

It must be nice to be able to wear oversized clothing and
have it actually make you look thinner rather than make it look like
you are trying to hide something!


It's not every day you see a model with blue hair! Love it!!

I love everything about her look...


I haven't smoked in nearly a year!

A tiny bit thinner than I want to be
but still, amazing!

can you tell I love red hair?

She's perfect.
5/30/2011 10:46:00 PM

Is it ok to...?

Is it ok to take pain-killers so that you can exercise when your back is in so much pain you can't even stand up straight?

Is it ok to drink energy drinks 1-2 times every day to keep yourself performing at your normal level when you are creating caloric deficits of 1500 or more?

Is it ok to welcome such behaviors with open arms, as if they are your saving grace, rather than shun them as unhealthy and dangerous?

Is it ok to be "ok" with slipping deeper into an obsession with weight loss than you ever intended?

Is it ok to consider your future success in academics/career/life to depend on first achieving your goal weight/size (size is way more important to me than weight...)?

Is it ok to put your aspirations towards education/career/life on the back-burner to focus on your weight loss effort?

Is it ok to think that what you are doing is for your health even though the way you are going about it is admittedly not the healthiest, and may be headed towards decidedly unhealthy?

Is it ok to let your evaluation of the quality of your week depend on a number on the scale?

Some of these questions... I can answer for myself pretty confidently. Others, I cannot. Some, even though I am not sure if my answer is the right one... I've already taken action on. Others, I have not. 

What do you think?
5/28/2011 12:53:00 AM

Natural = Better?

(TMI Alert) Thing's haven't been moving along quite as often as one might like lately... so I bought some tea that is supposed to help during a trip to Whole Foods to look at how much MasterCleanse materials will roughly cost when I do it (August). So far the only effects have been to make me feel bloated, and dehydrated :( Which brings me to the question...

Why does everything think (me included at times) that all natural = better/safer? Some of the most poisonous substances in the world are 'all natural'. Many come from plants as the link shows, others from animals... and idk, I just don't get why we often fall into the trap of thinking all natural = healthier. Anyway... drinking my tea now, maybe tomorrow will see more results. This tea is cheaper than the one commonly used by master cleansers, so I thought I'd see if it works for future reference too... if things aren't better I might try out the SW flush... i'd kinda like to weigh in empty tomorrow just for kicks.
5/27/2011 08:00:00 AM

week 9 Weigh In and Summary

Weight: 176.8
Fat %: 31.5
Muscle: 52.1

Changes since last weigh in:

-3.08 lbs fat
-1.4 lbs muscle :(

Overall, a very good week. Muscle loss isn't surprising as I didn't do any weights... once I get set with new exercise regime (more on that later) hopefully things will stabilize.

I think I have some back logging to do on the bodymedia website,  so the summary will be posted at a later (but nearby) date.
5/26/2011 12:39:00 AM

Picking myself up

 I had wanted to find a picture of some kid bent over dusting themselves off after an obvious fall, but there isn't a good search term to turn up a picture like that... Ah well, this will have to do.

Yesterday was, as stated in the post for yesterday, very frustrating because I was unable to work out in the evening due to external influences... Today, to make up for it, I jogged/walked a total of 6 (+?) miles. 3 in the AM and 3 after work.

I took over 20,000 steps... I burned 3140 calories, and I did it all on 2.5 hrs of sleep. Yay... Kinda like a last chance workout. I hope there is a loss tomorrow. Better sleep so my body has a chance to make it happen.
5/25/2011 01:30:00 AM

Mega Fail

I gotta get to sleep because tomorrow is a long day... but long story short... today feels like a MEGA fail. Tomorrow I will be aiming to do at least 6 miles of walking/jogging. If I can, I'm going to put in 9...

At times like this I have to remember that tomorrow is a new day... I must persevere ... If I continue I will eventually change my body... my mind... The "Modifications [will be] slow and subtle, but tremendous! The persevering will discover them. It will happen to the persevering that their whole lives are changed—texture and colour, too! Naught will happen to those who do not persevere." (The Human Machine, E. Arnold Bennett [taken slightly out of context (he is talking about the mind... not the body) but it works])
5/23/2011 10:49:00 AM

Daily Weigh Ins

I've recently taken to weighing in daily, as many on the forums I frequent now do. It isn't something I plan to post here often... maybe whenever I hit a new 10s in weight... like I did today :D


I am not going to change my weight in the side box yet though... as it's only one day I've measured below 180s. Could just be water weight... and I think it would crush me emotionally to have to change things in the other direction... so it's better just to wait a few more days... still, it's tremendous news. I think this is the lightest I've been in 10 years. 

Update Following Day: Still 178.4. Guess it can change ^-^
5/23/2011 12:37:00 AM

Life stuff

So... Things are looking up in real life. I was promoted two days ago, and may get an even better offer from another company in a week and a half. Either way, this coming week will be the last one where I spent ridiculous amounts of time traveling to and from work (5 hours sometimes...) which means, I will be able to get more on track than I have been for the last week and a half.

This week I have walked every day, and will continue to. If I have time/energy I will also do physio/stretching and stuff. But the walking is most important. My original plan was to do 30-60 minutes per day but now I am going to do 2.5miles per day (which is 45-50 min for me). The bulk of the walking will be done at 3-3.5 mph (I've been going at 3.4 for most of it because I read while I walk on the treadmill and 3.5 is too hard for me to keep up and do that =[ ) and at a 2-3 degree incline.

Tomorrow, as I don't have to go to work until late and it will be a short day, I will check out a yoga/Pilates studio near where I will be working, and will probably sign up for 10 private lessons. I will ask them to teach me two thirty minute routines; one that focuses on overall body strength and the other which will help with flexibility and core,that I can do at home. Once I get them down, I want them to put me on those crazy pulley machines and bust my ass once a week..

I enjoyed BBL while I was doing it, and will likely do it again, but during every workout there were times where my weaker side made it hard, if not impossible, for me to do the workout... so I want to do something that will even out my body, and put me into a place where I can easily do at home workouts which are meant for moderately healthy people.

Finally, I'm thinking about getting a juicer. Any thoughts on that?
5/22/2011 12:26:00 AM

Tip 8 - 腹八分

The Japanese, one of the thinnest people on the planet, have a guideline which says to only eat until one is 80% full. This tip relates somewhat to the first one, which explains that our brain lags behind what our stomach is actually feeling. 

This practice of eating only until you are 80% full will do the following for you:

* keep you from the physical discomfort of being overfead.
*significantly cut calories.
* Teach you to listen to your body's needs more.
*Actually lead to greater satisfaction from the meal.

Now, this doesn't mean to leave 20% of your food on the plate. Rather, take 20% less, so that you don't waste anything.  The idea here is to not waste food, or caloric intake needlessly.
5/21/2011 01:14:00 AM

Beauty Pageant Thinspo

because it's been a while....

5/21/2011 12:55:00 AM

Family Dinners

My mom recently came across a recipe for bruschetta which she claimed was absolutely divine, and wouldn't be against my diet as the only bad thing it has in it is Olive Oil, which in her opinion isn't all that bad. And... admittedly, when compared to other fats, it isn't.  So, when she asked to cook it for me I thought "Sure, I can just have a little on top of my steak or something... and make sure I don't have too much of that either."

I even skipped lunch today, thinking it would leave room for the extra calories I was sure to eat at dinner... well, for the first time since starting this journey I made a couple major mistakes... and at the end of this post, I'm going to (live... kinda?) calculate the damage I've done today... and yes, I am sure it will be over 600 calories, which will seem like serious damage. Especially considering how little I did today as it was my first day off in two weeks after days of open-close shifts at work.

sidenote: I haven't gone over 600 calories since the protien fast started, and although this was never a plan of mine, I don't think I can comfortably go over that number now until I've reached my goal and am trying to stabilize my metabolism into a maintaining cycle.

So... here are the mistakes:

1. I didn't add an extra vegetable to the plate, so I not only felt as if I COULD, but that I had to eat more of the tomato basil mixture which inspired the whole meal.

2. Despite being satisfied, I went for seconds to please my mom.

ugh.... so, it's been a while since I listed my daily intake but....


100g egg whites
100g spinach
12g oat bran
1/2 tsp cinnamon
10g vanillla isopure whey protien

Calories: 144


Iced Tea 

Calories: 8


164g Broiled Sirloin
 271g tomato/basil/garilic stuff
+10 calories because she used oil to help get the beef seasoned too.... (didn't know until I had eaten D: ) 

472 or more... see note.

Assumed intake: 624, but may have been as high as 747.... I don't think the beef had 1/4" fat before being broiled though... so for once I'm assuming the lower of the two options. Either way, that one dinner was almost as much as I eat in one day usually. I don't think skipping lunch had anything to do with this binge... more that I thought it wasn't TOO damaging, and that I wanted to make the cook happy. The kicker is that if I had stayed with my original serving, I would have just been over 504 for my total, which is closer to what I do on a daily basis than 600 is anyway...

I just hope this doesn't put a huge damper on weight loss this week... not the best way to start out. I walked 50 minutes before coming up to write this just to help counter it... was only going to do 30 or so initially. And finally... after finishing the second plate, I had a slight urge to purge... which I didn't do because... ewww... and, that would be decidedly very unhealthy, which is against my whole mantra. Moderately unhealthy (ie. extremish restriction) is one thing, but...
5/20/2011 12:47:00 AM

week 8 Weigh In and Summary

As I posted earlier, this was a good week despite being a lazy one. Yay for large deficits making exercise not quite as important.

Weight: 181.4
Fat %: 32.4
Muscle: 53.5

Changes since last weigh in:

-3.4 lbs fat
+.9 lbs muscle

so... the other .7 loss must be water, or bones... or both?

here's the summary for food/activity/etc.

5/19/2011 06:55:00 AM

Weighed in but don't have time to make the official post.

Just wanted to say the news is quite good :D I will post the summary of food/activity and weight loss when I get home from work. No workout today except walking planned. I think this will me a walk and physio + extra ab work week so that I don't get too caught up in not doing what I'm "supposed to". I'll just make sure to do as much as I physically can each day. Tomorrow is an off day... so I'll walk at least an hour and do lots of stretching/core work/physio.
5/18/2011 06:30:00 AM


I've found a forum to join to chat about what I'm trying to do with other people. It's nice, and why I haven't made a detailed post here for a few days.

I was a lazy cow last night and didn't work out :( will need to make up both missed workouts this week tonight when I get home I guess. And I need to figure out what I'm doing for the future. Hopefully within two weeks I'll be back down to 8~9 hour days, which will let me get back into being serious about working out every day... as it is now though, I think I'll need to change to Power 90 phase 1/2 to increase the chances of me actually doing it each day since that takes less than 40 minutes.

I hope everything moved at least 2 lbs in the right direction this week. With the deficits I've been pulling, it ought to have done at least that :(
5/17/2011 01:24:00 AM

Lemon on Salad

When I was a kid, I used to HATE salad dressing. Infact, I didn't start adding the fattening, completely empty calories until late high-school. From probably the age of 6 until 16 I would always ask for a few slices of lemon on the side of any salad I got. I think the above video is what inspired my extreme dislike of sauces.

Even now aside from Caesar, Italian or occasionally goma (a Japanese type of salad dressing), I really don't like most dressings and sauces, not that I even eat those anymore. Mayonnaise has been the bane of my existence since as long as I can remember. I never ate anything but mustard on sandwiches, and even that was very rare... tomato based sauces like BBQ were only to be used in the most sparring of ways... like, dip a prong of my fork in it to flavor every 2-3 bites of whatever.

It's interesting... the longer I successfully live out this effort to lose all the excess crap I've added to my body over the last decade or so... the more I realize I was very restrictive before I let myself go... and many of these new habits really aren't new at all... just forgotten.
5/16/2011 12:40:00 AM

Bad bad me...

I didn't work out last night. Sleep was more important, and I do think I would have suffered if I hadn't slept. As penance I walked for 1 hour today and did 1 of the two workouts I skipped yesterday + todays workout. The one I didn't do was the ab workout because I will need to do that tomorrow morning as well, and didn't want my abs to be so sore it was pointless... so I will do that + lots of walking on Wednesday (my usual day off).

My pants are slowly starting to slip down my hips It's kinda exciting... However, the prospect of buying new clothing for each size is daunting. I'll need to get a belt... and I've decided I can get new work clothing when I reach Size 10 (a M at last!!).
5/15/2011 12:24:00 AM

End of first month of Brazil Butt Lift

11.6 inches down.... 25 (+... not sure how much the arms need to lose to be a size 4) more to go. It seems quite far away.... even for the size 6, which is acceptable, I'll need to lose 21 more inches.

Today, I ate one of these. I had half at lunch and half at dinner. now that I have my batteries again, I'll need to make sure I make my oatmeal in the morning because that was 170 calories that came from pure grain and sugar (D:!!!!) rather than just the bran, and it was the best out of a large number of bad options at the GNC I went to. /sigh.

Finally, I'm trying to decide if I should stick with Brazil Butt Lift after this week or not. I don't feel like my lower half is losing size as fast as my upper half, and it bothers me that I am so unbalanced. I suspect it may be because I am building muscle in my lower body... maybe I ought to let it atrophy a bit? Any tips from people who previously had thunder thighs but are now skinny bitches? I'd love you to the bones if you'd pass them on.
5/14/2011 11:49:00 AM


My stupid scale's battery died, so I couldn't measure anything today. Happily, my egg cooking method limits how much I can pour so I know I ate less than 120 grams of egg white, I'll put it in at that number though... spinach was probably between 100-150 grams... so 150 it is. This meant no oatmeal though, as I can't know for sure how much whey I'm putting in.... I was thinking about going to Mac Donalds and getting their real oatmeal instead to have something filling but 260 calories is way too much... mine is only 71 :(

I'll get salads and a battery before I eat lunch, since I can't measure things out here it means no cooking... but at least I can measure what I get out there. It'll be good... I'll have one that is with roast beef, since I rarely cook it, and one that is roast chicken breast... for a total estimate of 270 calories (both meals).

That will bring me to a total of 380 calories for the day which is still quite low... so I'll have to make sure I have a shake when I get home... question is should it be before or after my workout... hmmm.

damned button cell batteries.
5/14/2011 01:01:00 AM

resisting the fat bitch in me....

While watching and reading the different things I have been to keep myself "thinking thin", I've heard/seen a lot of people refer to their ED as a persona, or as another part of themselves which has a voice. Well, I don't have a voice that is separate... and actually, sometimes I think I have 2 aspects going on in the back of my head.... neither are strong... One isn't even strong enough to 'speak', but it (she?) smiles when I forget to eat a snack or decide to park very far away so I have to walk more. Or when I'm on the treadmill and decide to look at my fatass thighs to keep pushing through the high intensity part of the interval, it nods in approval.

The other one is actually able to speak, but it's just me, it doesn't seem to have it's own life or whatever like some girls refer to. As it doesn't sound like it's own person,  it isn't super strong... and it hasn't appeared all that often, but last night while driving home from work it started suggesting that I forgo the evening workout, and double up on Saturday and Sunday if I couldn't manage to do so today. At first it sounded rational, and good... I was so tired, but then I realized the trap this lazy aspect of myself was setting... the minute I start rationalizing any bad behavior is the minute I can kiss this effort goodbye. NO COMPROMISES fat bitch.... go away.

Tonight was similar, so I think she only comes out when I'm tired. I succeeded in doing the sculpt workout 80%. Some exercises seemed too much because of my fatigue and stiffness in my back so I spent the time I should have been doing them stretching or doing my Physio. It will be interesting to see what the rest of this week brings...
5/12/2011 09:47:00 AM

Week 7 Summary

Two things I noticed... despite changing what I eat midway through the week, the calories barely changed AND calories burned/steps were less this week. I don't know if that is because I am underfeeding myself, or if it is because the week itself. it will be interesting to see... if next week is similar I think I'll need to add fruit back in... or fat.
5/12/2011 09:46:00 AM

Week 7 Diet/Week 4 Brazil Butt Lift Done.

I was really nervous to get on the scale today, and it took a couple of tries to get the same numbers twice... but, things went well considering I went from liquid to solid midway, and added some carbs back to the diet.

Weight: 184.6
 Fat%: 33.7
Muscle: 52.6

Changes Since Last Thursday:
-2.4 LBS (good, but under goal :( )
-1.37 lbs of fat
-.7 lbs of muscle

Changes since end of fast:
-1.45 lbs of fat
+.8 lbs of muscle

will do later...
5/12/2011 07:15:00 AM

Lethargic Start

I'm off to a pretty lethargic start today. Not a good sign I suppose... I have something pretty important to do in about 2 hours, and woke up with enough time to work out, iron, cook, etc and still be early for it but I'm still feeling kinda heavy from my first all solid day. I guess I'll work out when I get home, because although I could force myself through the workouts now I would

1. feel sick
2. potentially make myself late to my appointment

so... as long as I don't skip tonight... I think it is better to wait. /Sigh... I hate my schedule at the moment. I hope it calms down soon...
5/10/2011 11:07:00 AM

Last day of Brazil But Lift "Slim Down" Program

Once I complete my two work outs today, I will have finished the first cycle of Brazil But Lift. I am trying now to decide what to do with it starting Thursday... The thing is, the work out plan he suggests after the first month involves nearly 1.5 hours of working out each day, which will be very hard to maintain this week at least because I have multiple 12+ hr days (not including the driving...) so I think that what I will do for this week is alternate between a number of 50 minute plans... at least for this week... if I don't see much of a change in my body from the decreased workout schedule than I'll change it to what he suggests even if it will be hard to manage with my schedule... if not, I may continue this until my work schedule settles some.

Day 1: Bum Bum + Tummy Tuck (The two work outs I have the most difficulty completing.)
Day 2: Sculpt
Day 3: Bum Bum + Tummy Tuck
Day 4: High and Tight + 20 minutes (or more) of walking on the treadmill or outside
Day 5: Bum Bum + Tummy Tuck
Day 6: Sculpt

My goal is to, within the week, complete both Bum Bum and Tummy Tuck 100% without wanting to die. The two of these workouts contain moves that are either hard for me to do at all, or are hard for me to do at the pace they do them in the video... I hate Bum Bum. I often feel an overwhelming urge to turn it off in the middle... so I'm taking this to be my Gurugita... a prayer that the author of Eat Pray Love struggles with for a long time in her Ashram. Her mastering it, and finding a way to complete it with purpose and acceptance signals a turning point in her journey... I hope the same will apply when I master these two work outs... I need to 'tame' them if I want to achieve my goals, and the decreased time will help me continue to be active without taking a day off, which is also very important.
5/09/2011 11:45:00 PM

a wrench in refeeding

I felt pretty sick after breakfast today, and didn't even make my oat bran oatmeal because I was so over full... which is crazy because all I had was 103g of spinach and 112g (while raw) egg whites... so, no fish for tomorrow. Until breakfast goes down easily I'm sticking with veggies + shakes for lunch/dinner. Tomorrow they will all be cooked though, cuz i'm out of the raw ones.

I remember reading somewhere that you should take as many days as you were on a fast to come out of one... I'm not sure if that's really necessary or not, but I do know that I am going to listen to my body and take solid food one step at a time. It's interesting... despite trying to add more food to my intake because of how I felt all morning I ended up skipping 1 whey shake today, so my total calories for the day were the same as they had been all last week... yesterday was only a 30 calorie increase... hmmm.
5/09/2011 12:11:00 AM

visable changes

I still have a LONG way to go, but tonight after my shower I noticed that my armpit fat is a lot less than it used to be... In fact, it is less prominent than it is on this rather fit girl in the picture. Exciting!

Still I can't be too happy or I'll start to lose motivation. Semi-tip... work out in front of mirrors or in clothing that lets your fat bits jiggle so that each time you see or feel your gross bits move, you get motivated to work even harder! It's what I do.
5/08/2011 10:17:00 AM

End of Fast Weigh In

Weight: 185.6
BF%: 34.3
Muscle Mass: 51.8

Changes from Pre-Fast Weigh in

-5.4 lbs
-3.57 lbs of fat
-.8 lbs of muscle

Changes from Thursday Weigh in

-1.4 lbs
+.08 lbs of fat
-1.5 lbs of muscle

now it will be interesting to see what my body does with solid food back in it....
5/07/2011 11:55:00 PM

Refeeding Plan Revised

So, I've decided to make tomorrow a shake + veggies only day. My first idea was to have a normal breakfast, but I think that will be too much change. Instead, I have divided up a number of raw veggies to be snacked on during the day. I will not force myself to take in anymore than I am hungry for... but assuming I did eat them all, I would be going from approximately 550 calories in a day to roughly 800.

Instead I think I'll end up eating them over two days, and add egg to breakfast on the second. the third will be fish + cooked veggies, and the forth day will be back to normal. I'd love to stick with raw veggies all the time, but I can't :( it's too expensive at the quantities I eat. I also wanted to go all organic, especially during this re-feeding time... but without any WholeFoods markets in the whole state, and the only organic market I know about being quite far from where I work... I was limited by the horrible selection at the market I went to. I'll have to plan a bit better next time I guess... Ah well.
5/06/2011 03:21:00 PM

My new thinspo!

supersized vs. superskinny

Too bad it keeps me on my ass for an hour or so at a time... but it's quite inspirational to watch. Like seeing where I'm coming from, and where I want to be all at once!
5/06/2011 02:34:00 AM

Fat Acceptance = bad.

I live near enough my family at the moment that we are able to visit on a weekly basis, and since eating is often part of such visits, they are aware of my current diet efforts. My obesity came (past tense yay!) from a family history... nearly everyone on my mother's paternal side has been obese. Even my grandfather, who was always quite thin when I knew him, was morbidly obese until some of his friends forced him to lose the weight. Looking at his history is one of the things that makes me confident that I will not only be able to achieve my goal, but stabilize there. Anyway, my mother did not choose the same path as her father did, and often felt that her parents were disappointed in her for that fact, that they loved her less even.

In an effort to make sure that this weight loss effort isn't due to similar sentiments on my side of things, every time we meet, she makes a comment about how the health problems blamed on fatness are bogus, how she would lose weight only to regain it quickly... etc etc. I don't think she is trying to stop me from dieting, but she is projecting a lot of her frustration with how society receives her in her message of "fat or thin, I love you." and it's starting to wear thin. Especially because it almost sounds like she feels as if I am judging her choice not to manage her weight by choosing to lose my own...

Anyway... all her talk about Fat Acceptance (FA)  (direct and indirect) made me decide to research it a bit, and here's what I think about the FA movement and why it's DANGEROUS. To be fair, first off, there is some evidence that shows that genetics influence one's propensity for obesity. There are also some studies that show that some fat people are just as healthy as non-fat people... I admit this, but genetic influences don't mean that someone CAN'T lose weight, it only means it is more difficult. Also, being healthy at a high weight doesn't mean you'd be unhealthy at a low one... Finally, the statistics which show a correlation between obesity and heart disease, diabetes, and earlier mortality rates in the general population are undeniable, so while there are a few individuals who can be healthy at 30 (35..40+?) BMI, they are few and far between.

Now, while statistics are hard to apply to the individual (i.e. we cannot know if they are one of the above mentioned outliers), telling the world that it's OK to be fat, and that we shouldn't encourage/pressure/whatever obese people to diet/exercise because it "doesn't work" puts the population as a whole at risk... because sure, an individual fat person might be one of those special people who can be morbidly obese and live to be 100... but the thousands of other obese people who are not that kind of person who stop making an effort to be healthy because "It's ok to be fat"... that is where those statistics come from... 

Also, there is evidence that being friends with fat people makes you fat... which makes the problem even worse. In other words, not only does the FA encourage people to not only accept fat people and encourage fat people not to try and get healthier, but they are indirectly causing people who wouldn't be fat in normal circumstances to become so by an exposure to other fat people, because acceptance of others makes one less likely to fight the battle against weight gain themselves. 

I don't really feel this post is quite as elegant as I want it to be, and will likely edit it... but basically... each time I hear my mom talk about something that sounds kinda FA influenced, it makes me what to smack her across the face and remind her that
  1. she shouldn't rationalize her choice to continue to be an emotional eater for all her life (she admits she is, so I'm totally ok with saying this).
  2. she shouldn't expect others not to judge her (and other fat people) when she herself admits that she didn't have the discipline to restrict her eating for all her life.
  3. and, most importantly, my weight loss efforts are not at ALL about anyone other than myself... and she should certainly not take personal offense, as it seems she might be doing, to the fact that I am making them.
Now, to finish this off, I want to say that in general I don't judge fat people. I can't, because I am one. I don't think they are all lazy, or any of the other things that are listed on www.naafa.org as signs of prejudice against overweight individuals when I first meet them, because I don't know their story. I don't know what efforts they are making to become healthier, or which obstacles they have to overcome... It's when I start hearing the talk about "diets don't work" and "I'm as fit as a fiddle" that I start getting judgmental. We only rationalize to try and convince ourselves of something that we KNOW FOR A FACT is wrong. In this case, I believe it's because it's more convenient to believe these lies and distorted statistics than to put the effort in to make a change...and that kind of behavior, ABSOLUTELY shows a weakness in character, and deserves to be judged.
5/05/2011 11:59:00 PM

Nutrition and Activity Summary - Week 6

5/05/2011 08:45:00 AM

Week 6!

It's actually been a few more than 42 days as I've moved weigh-ins up to mid week from Sunday BUT, here are the stats from the last official weigh-in!! (Super exciting)

Weight: 187 (-5LBS)
 BF%: 34
Muscle Mass: 53.3

Changes since the last official weigh in:
-2.85 lbs of fat
-1.5 lbs of muscle :(

Changes since start of fast:
-3.65 lbs of fat!!!
+.7 lbs of muscle

In Graph form, here is where I've come so far :D (note: I had lost 2 lbs before subscribing to this service, total is 21!)

the red line represents the healthy rate of 2lbs lost per week. Purple is what I've actually been doing. Each one of the thick horizontal lines basically represents a major mile marker in my journey. I can't wait to cross the next one! (Halfway Mark)

Now that I have been under the obesity line for a few days, and actually dropped even further below it than I expected (I was thinking 188 or 189), I totally deserve my luxury day tomorrow :D I can't wait!

I'm still quite heavy, so I expect the next few weeks will continue to be 2+ lbs per week, but I think I am probably nearing the stretch where things might slow down a lot... I'm sure it will start within the next 20lbs of weight to lose. When I do start stagnating, I hope I'll remember to look back at this post, because this has been a more challenging week than most (with the liquid protien diet), but I haven't messed up! Infact, I've learned that I can easily function on an all liquid diet, which I think is something I will be able to use to break any plateaus I experience.

Usually I think these posters are kinda dumb, but this is how I feel atm so, whatever.

5/03/2011 11:53:00 PM

Fast 1 Day 3 - Casein is still chunky :(

what the peach mango
might as well have been
I returned the vile whey protien today and got a second 3 pound tub of the chocolate kind, which has a few more calories, but is infinitely easier to drink. I will try the vanilla flavor tomorrow too, as a drink, to see how it is, because it's 0 carb AND in the bran oatmeal like stuff it's tasty so... maybe that would be good.

I got a bigger shaker bottle today to try and solve the chunky casein issue, and it helped but it still wasn't perfect. Maybe tomorrow night will be better. In summation, day 3 is done without any temptation to break the fast, so I think I'll be fine until Saturday.

After the fast is done, I think I will look at the master cleanse as a possible fast for June. It will depend on where I'm working I think... Right now it would be impossible to do that because I drive too much and imagine I would be quite tired on the 10 day cleanse.... but I'm trying to get a new job, or at least a more stable position in my current company, and hopefully by June I will have accomplished that!

If I can't do the master cleanse, I might go for a mostly vegetable juice fast, at least for 3-4 days. After that I will probably switch back to protien because I am quite scared of losing muscle... at least until I'm closer to my end goal. at 128 lbs having 50+ lbs of muscle as a girl wouldn't be normal... though if it looks good, I'll keep it! For now it's vital though.