Sometimes I think the internet is my biggest enemy.

I woke up nearly 2 hours ago, but only now am I drinking my whey shake and getting ready for my workout. Why? Because I came online to check if the blogs I follow had been updated... searched for some others that might keep me on track... found a new way to model my weight loss (exciting. mvm (my virtual model) is no longer available on the general web, but still up on facebook!)  and basically did a lot of other totally useless things while laying down (because I hate computer desks...) and burning almost no calories. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't my day off, as I burn a lot at work... but it is! I think I'll do intervals on the treadmill rather than just walk, and for 45 minutes instead of 30 to help make up for such a lazy start.

Back to the internet though... I love it (obviously), but I feel that I allow it to sabotage not only my weight loss efforts, but my efforts elsewhere in life too. I think I'll try to limit myself to 1hr a day of browsing/posting. Sometimes work puts me online... but for personal use, I really need to cut down.

Update: Walked 3.4 miles outside in 1 hr, which included lots of hills. Haven't connected my FIT to the computer yet to see how many steps/calories it added, but hopefully it helped enough for me not to feel today was a horribly lazy day.

Leftovers...

No, not food! one of the best ways (i think) to avoid over-eating is to cook only what you need. This morning I was running slightly late, so I wasn't able to finish my workout 100%. I promised myself I would do the rest of it before going to bed (wasn't cardio so I could break it up). I've been back home now for about 40minutes... and still don't want to do it. My stomach feels kinda heavy, so I think that's why... but it's time to! I don't want to ever skip a workout now that I've moved the days, not even part of one. Just wish I wasn't so damned tired.

sometimes I creep myself out...

When driving home at night, I occasionally get the feeling the car behind me is following me, and I freak out. Tonight I decided to take an obscure detour to try and lose the person behind me, but every turn I took, they took too... and then they started riding my tail, which was super scary.

Eventually they got fed up with my slowish driving (I had gone the most obscure way I could think of, and don't know it well personally...) they passed me. It was a great relief to know my car wouldn't be found like the picture shows, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being followed until after I had already been back at home for at least 30 minutes... I wonder if other people ever feel that way.

Nutrition and Activity Summary - Week 5

Rather than post each days activity, because it's boring, I've decided to include a weekly summary with each weeks weigh in of what the overall nutrition/activity/caloric deficit etc was. Here's the first one!

Note: I couldn't find the data on what I actually ate on Friday of that week-long period, so randomly put in things I've been eating recently. It probably wasn't that calorically high though... thought it was better to overestimate than under.

Week 2 of Brazillian Butt lift done

Went up a little bit since Tuesday... But!

Weight 192 (-1.4)
BF% 34.6 (-1.6%.... -3.58 lbs of FAT!!!!)
Muscle: 54.8 lbs (+3)

I think the increase in weight by .6 lbs and the huge increase in muscle mass both have to do with more water retention... as a lot of water is stored in muscles and my water % went up a bit as well. This is fine with me, though it looks like no bath for another week perhaps... ah well!

Hot bath...

I went to Lush the other day as planned... and when I got home tonight I desperately wanted to take a hot bath with one of the bath bombs I got because I felt very stiff all day... but I didn't as it's meant to be a reward for not being obese anymore. I hope that when I weigh in tomorrow, I'll be in the 180s so I can do it after work then =]

Also... new change in my body... I'm thirsty.... ALL THE TIME. even after drinking a liter of water, I'll get a dry sensation in the back of my throat. Perhaps I'll go see a doctor soon if this doesn't subside...

Tip #9

Thin is cold.

More than half of the calories we burn are spent to regulate our internal temperature according to Pierre Dukan, the author of the Dukan Diet. And being cold will increase that number dramatically...Just by showering in cool water, for example (77F or 25C)you will burn 100 calories every 2 minutes! That's more than ANY cardio workout can do for you!

 So, suck on ice cubes, drink ICE cold water, turn down the temperature, roll down the window when it's chilly out rather than turn on the heat in the car! And whatever you do... don't bundle up just because it's a little nippy. Of course, don't risk your health for the extra calories... but if it's in the 50s or 60s, you probably don't need a coat that bad.

Moral of the story: Shiver to burn.

A fantasy I had about 10 years ago...

I started to gain the weight I am so desperately trying to lose in High School. I blame the cafeteria, no limits to how much we ate... and my friends and family, for not telling me what was happening. I also blame my sport, and injury... apparently it is quite common for people who were super athletic but suddenly had to stop because of an injury or something to gain a lot of weight. Makes sense... you don't think to change your eating habits but suddenly need far less calories... and at least in my case, although I could still do cardio and weight training, I didn't understand why I would want to. The only reason I worked out at least 3 hours a day was to be a better at what I did when I was on the ice.

I don't think I realized I was gaining lots of weight until junior or senior year, but it still wasn't terrible... it wasn't my worst. The breakdown happened after university. Still, I had a passing thought around when I was probably becoming aware of and slightly unhappy with my weight gain while watching Terence Stamp in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" have nothing but pills and water for breakfast when they break down in the middle of the outback. I thought, "How nice would it be if we could really do that. No waste... no extra calories... just exactly what we need." This was probably late sophomore or early junior year...This thought would randomly pop back up from time to time in college, but I never really researched it for lack of money.

I think that this is what has informed how I will go about my fast starting Sunday.

Tip #8

Use supplements to make up for fatigue, increase the efficacy of your work outs, and address any deficiencies your diet is causing you to experience. 

This last week, I have found the two best supplements ever... at least for me!.

One is, as I suspect you are aware... Whey Protein! The shakes are thin and don't taste at all like what they are advertised to taste like, as I mix them with water, but the last two days I have had it before my workouts I have been able to put so much more power into them. Part of it may be that my body is changing, but I do believe that part of it is the fact I am fueling it a tiny bit before hand and prepping it for recovery afterward too... I took up whey because I was worried about muscle mass loss, and now I will be able to not only protect it (in theory... yet to actually be seen), but I will be able to put more into what develops it and what burns the fat away.

The other is B12... (I drink it in this form). While shopping at a random grocery store I never go to I saw the sugarless b12 packs... and went ahead and got them because I had heard from some coworkers at a previous job that B12 was a major pick-me-up vitamin. I tried it for the first time tonight because often while driving home from a closing shift I feel dangerously close to passing out and driving off the road. I mixed one of these with 16 oz of water around 6pm, when I was starting to fade at work, and anytime I felt tired I'd go into the back and take a few sips... I had probably about 3oz left before I had to drive home, and finished it off as I walked to the car, and there wasn't a single moment during my car ride back that I found difficult to keep my eyes open. It's a godsend. I'll just need to figure out the timing a little better so it won't effect my ability to get to sleep when I'm safe at home, but at least I know I can get there safely now regardless of the time I get off of work!

so... moral of the story: Listen to your bodies needs, and find some way to meet them that not only doesn't compromise your weight loss efforts, but actually improves upon them.

TMI perhaps

I realize this is kinda gross, but whenever I... evacuate a lot of waste in the morning I get myself on the scale just to see what's up. I'm down to 191.2 lbs today... fat percent went down too, in fact... I lost 1.5lbs of fat yesterday apparently... which seems insane, but whatever, I'll take it. I also lost .7 lbs in muscle :( which is no good... but I only started supplementing my diet with protien in the morning so hopefully that will stop soon. I'm posting this to project that by the end of the weekend, I will no longer be "obese I", which is very exciting. I think my reward for achieving this goal will be to go to Lush and get a TON of fun bath products so I can have a luxurious soak and pamper day (after work outs of course!).

Prep for protien modified fast Ducan style

As mentioned before in my previous post, I read a lot of the Ducan Diet book, and am going to use its "Attack Phase" as the basic model for my 'fast' which will start May 1st. I say "fast" because breakfast will be solid... still, it is quite extreme. I would consider a water fast but... because of the length of my work shifts, and the fact that it will cause loss of muscle mass, it seems like a bad idea. Ketosis can still be achieved while consuming protein, and that's really the point of this exercise. 

Here is my plan.... I will be living off of Whey Protein and Casein Protein and 100% Oat Bran served as Oatmeal each day.... the main purpose of the oat bran is to allow me to take a multivitamin and some fish oil to make sure all my micro-nutrients are in order. 

Calorically and nutritionally it will look like this:

foods	calories	protien	carbs	fat	potasium	calcium
Whey Shake	105	25	0	0.5	375	300
Oat Bran	22	2	6	1	50	5
Cinnamon	6	0.1	1.9	0	0	0
Whey Protien (Vanilla Flavor)	52.5	12.5	0	0.25	187.5	150
Potasium Supliment					99
multivitamin					??	500
Whey Shake	105	25	0	0.5	375	300
Whey Shake	105	25	0	0.5	375	300
Casien Shake	110	25	2	0	105	100
	505.5	114.6	9.9	2.75	1566.5	1655

That is quite low on calories... but it's just enough protein and the only key item I am going to be short on is Potasium, but as there will be 0 salt content it should be ok... The extra Calcium is not intended, but is welcome, as it ought to offset some of the acid my body will be producing during this week. I will also need to make sure to drink LOTS LOTS LOTS of water.... All the time.

Oh... the oil I intend to take will add 10 calories. The days following the end of the fast will slowly re-introduce food to my diet..

Day 1: I plan to add spinach and egg (whites only from now on) to my breakfast. I will keep the oatbran, but might lose the protien... maybe not. Who knows :D

Day 2: Add Veggies and Fish to lunch rather than whey shake.

Day 3: Add Veggies and Chicken to dinner, and probably lose casein shake.

Day 4: Follow the diet I have been minus the high calorie fruits and with half the nuts... and with whey shakes 30min before my workouts (speaking of which, I had a MAJOR shot of energy 30min after drinking the one I had this morning...)... and *maybe* casein shakes at night. Probably actually... by cutting out so many calories from the fruit and nuts, I need to add it somewhere else.


These are the supplements I'll be using...

Vitamin
 Peach Mango Whey Powder (0 Carb)
Vanilla Whey Powder (for "oatmeal")
Cookies and Cream
Chocolate Whey Powder (maybe...)
Casein Strawberry
EFA Supplement

Early Riser

So, I'm up nice and early :D I have a lot planned for today, although it's my only day off for only god knows how long... I will Clean my room, my car, part of the house I am living in.... I weighed in already, I need to work out... which I will do right after posting this. I will also catch up on some consulting work I do, and on backlogged posts.

Because today is *NOT* a work day, after i've done all of the chores around the house I will check on my status for activity and may walk/run/some combo of both for a bit to bring my activity time up. No more lazy days!

Weigh in had some good and some very bad news (imo)...

CW 193.4 (-2 lbs since Wednesday = good news!)
Muscle Mass: 51.8 lbs (-1.7 lbs since I started tracking = bad news :=[ )

This means that nearly all the weight I lost was muscle and water contained by that muscle. I don't get it... I'm weight lifting, and on average I'm eating 95 or so grams of protein per day, how am I losing muscle? I did have 2 very bad days this week, so that must be what it's from but... idk... two pounds in 3 days from muscle is kind of scary.

I'm going to have to up my protein uptake more... perhaps I'll start drinking a whey shake every day before my workout. 20g of protein and during a critical time of the day. I'm hoping that the muscle I've lost is at least from areas I don't want as much of it... like the top of my thighs or my huge calves rather than from the places I need it (hamstrings... arms... core...)

*update* apparently the average woman is only about 36% skeletal muscle. This means that at my ideal weight I should have 46.08 lbs of muscle so I guess it isn't terrible that I am losing muscle mass... However, muscle burns more calories, and I want to be 18% BF which means I should have more muscle mass than the average woman... so idk, this seems confusing :(

The whole protein thing is confusing too. There are so many mixed messages available. Vegans and Raw Foodists all talk about how horrible excessive protein is, especially for your bones... but for a dieter it seems like a super food. It was suggested that only 10% of your calories come from protien. That would be less than 30g per day... which seems much to low for my goals. Perhaps once I reach my ideal weight, and have stabilized my metabolism, I can listen to them...

Yesterday I read about 1/2 of the Ducan Diet book, he suggested .5 grams of protein per lb. it seems more doable than what body builders quote (.7-.9)... I'm going to shoot for between the two of those. .6 per lb. So, I need to increase my protein intake by about 20g per day for now, which is in line with my idea of having a Whey shake before my workouts. Time to go do that!

Easter Weekend

Thank goodness for holidays that cause places of business to close. Tomorrow will be my first day off in weeks. I also am working a very short day today as well so, I will be able to get a lot of backlogged daily intake posts up and write the post that will outline my first Protein supplemented fast.

Yesterday I was bad... I haven't calculated the exact number, but I'm 99% sure I ate less than 700 calories. I didn't feel hungry at all though, and it was much easier for me to go to bed because I wasn't overflowing with energy so late in the evening. It isn't a habit I want to get into, but it makes me feel a bit better about the week-long fast I'm going to be taking up. I did a water fast for 4 days a long time ago to cleanse, but that was shorter and I wasn't as active as I am now so I was a bit worried but now I think I should be able to manage it =]

30 days

I weighed in today as it has been 30 days since I started. I'm at 195.4 That means I have lost 12.6 lbs =] Some of it was, of course, water weight, but a lot of it was real I think... as my clothing is fitting differently now. Still a long way to go, but 12.6/4 = 3+ lbs per week, so I'm on track so far :D

From the last weigh in, i have lost 1.5 lbs of fat and gained .5 lbs of muscle.

Wednesdays = bad :(

Two negative posts in a row :( Oh well... Wednesdays are going to be my new rest day for exercise. it doesn't make much sense that Sunday, my least busy day EVERY WEEK be it.... if anything I should do twice the exercise on Sundays to make up for the lack of work-related activity. Wednesdays generally have me leaving my house by 7am which means I need to be up by 4:30 at the latest to exercise, shower, cook, iron... etc. and because of a weekly commitment I have each Wednesday I generally don't get home until 11:30 PM or later... so, it just isn't the best day to throw in the exercise.

I managed last week, but I am not going to push myself to do it this week because I was so tired driving home I nearly feel asleep a number of times... exercising when that tired doesn't bring about the best results... so, technically, I've skipped an unintended day... I will decide tomorrow if I record it or not as such, since I intend on not skipping Sunday, and never doing so again. What do you all think? I know a few people have been coming by... should it be a blotch on my record that I am changing my workout schedule?

I think it should be "punished" a little bit so here is my plan...

• Thursday will be day 1 of each week. 
• I will start week 2 over tomorrow BECAUSE of this change, which is really only important for tracking effectiveness...
• if I am off on Wednesday, I will do interval run/jogging for at least 30 minutes and the core workout that came with my DVDs as the schedule only has me do it once a week if that.

Eating late = bad idea :(

Places of employment should allow staff to take multiple meal breaks if their day is long enough... as it stands now, I generally end up having to eat my dinner at 9:30PM or later (after we close) because I cannot take two breaks... which really is getting to me :( Tonight I finished at 10:30 probably... maybe a bit before... and here I am at 11:40, knowing full well that I need to get up in less than 5 hours... but unable to fall asleep because I'm too hyped up from the food... *sigh*.

I don't think I used to be this effected by eating, but the last few years I've noticed when my blood sugar drops, and now I get energy bursts after eating. How odd... Oh well :( At least I can catch up on some of the backlog for Daily Intake I have to update.

Beautiful Clothing (1)

Part of the joy of being thin, I would imagine, is that everything looks good on you.... These are all from Fall 2011 Alice and Olivia. Very pretty...

look at her arms and collar bones!

Day 29

Day 28

Another lazy sunday. At least the deficit was still appropriate. I think I'll make sure to add 30 min of just walking from now on so I get the 8000 steps I'm looking for without over-stressing my body since I'm supposed to let it recover. I can say that the 9 hours sleep was a godsend after that week...

Disappointing week :(

I started at 198 this week. This morning I was 197.6.  That's hardely anything :( Also... I was at 197 earlier this week.

Good news is I've lost body fat and gained muscle. So perhaps that's where the numbers are coming from...It looks like I list just under a pound of body fat. ( (.367*198)-(.364*197.6)= 0.8396 lbs).

Action Plan:

• Cut out all fruit from diet once I've eaten everything I've already bought as I hate to waste food/money.
• Start a protein modified fast May 1st to last 7 days. (Whey protein shakes and a cup of broccoli in the morning to keep the bowels moving... +supplements.)
• Cut out the nuts from the diet too, again once I've eaten everything I've already paid for. Extra fat from eating = less fat being burned on my body.

I was trying to keep the calorie intake up because it's reportedly unhealthy to do otherwise, but this is dumb... how can anyone stay motivated when they are losing so little?


I think I'll be buying this book tonight. 3-5 lbs of fat off per week sounds a lot more like what I want to be accomplishing.

Tip #7

Make "Mile Marker"  (aka. mini) goals

and reward yourself for achieving them. Whether the thing you measure up against is dropping a dress size... x% Body Fat, or just keeping with your plan for more than yy days... pat yourself on the back when you do it. It will help you to continue.

Nothing is more daunting than a single far off goal, so it is important to see yourself making steps towards it, and making mini-goals helps with that.

Week 1 of Brazil But Lift Done

I'll weigh in tomorrow to see what the numbers are. This week was only 5 workouts. Next week on will be 6. I had to do 2 of the 5 after work which is not ideal... but at least they got done =] I really want a Lush Bath bomb... I wonder if any department stores sell them cuz there isn't a Lush store in the mall I work at. I've decided most of my accomplishments (and not skipping a day during the first week of a workout is one I think...) will be rewarded with things like nice baths or trips to a spa.... no risk of added calories that way :D

Day 27

Sleep... Sucess... and potential set back?

My work schedule over the last few days has been hellish so I haven't been getting enough sleep this week. Thus, rather than wake up after 3 hours of sleep I decided to give myself another 2 today and not work out. Tomorrow was scheduled to be my "Off" day, but I don't have to work until the afternoon so it works out. I'm just trying to figure out if this should count as a skipped workout since I am making it up and not losing a day at all this week.... hmmm :(

The good news is that while shopping for breakfast foods this evening I ran across some sugar free candy that sounded interesting, but I very easily decided not to get it because each piece would have been 8 TOTALLY empty calories.

Day 22

How could a workout that so thoroughly kicked my ass have only been worth 239 calories D:
I hope to god that when I get better at the moves and can keep up it will be more than that...

This is why I've failed so many times before...

I finished my first Brazilian Buttlift workout about 30 minutes ago. I then weakly went to the kitchen, cooked breakfast... fought back the urge to vomit about 10 times, and 20 minutes after having cooked breakfast I'm not even able to eat more than a bite per 3 minutes because it makes me feel sick. That good feeling your supposed to get after a workout? I often get this feeling instead. I think it's probably a combination of factors. I'm very out of shape for one. I'm in the middle of my menstrual cycle as well... Finally it must have something to do with this workout specifically, because I did NOT feel this way last week while running at all.

So, I guess I'll take it even EASIER during this first week in the workouts... focus more on learning the moves and go my own pace rather than follow the people in the video. Hopefully by the end of this week, I won't be half as weak as I am right now :(

Also, some bad news on my scale... I lost a pound and a half sense Friday (Yay!) but at least some of it was muscle mass ( :( ) From now on I will be weighing in on Sundays as they will be the last day of my workout week. I wanted to see where I was when I started this new workout for tracking reasons though.

Day 21

What a lazy fat-ass I was this day :( At least I still had my target deficit.

Thinspo from the workout i'm doing

I know these are not typical results but... let's hope I can be up there someday!

Lazy Day...

While writing this blog I am doing my first "exercise" (mini-bike) for the day... how lazy... part of me is thinking I'll never stop being a fat ass if I do this, but the other part says "your new workout will be quite challenging, it's best to start out fresh..." Next week I am scheduled, as I am starting a new exercise video/plan, to have 2 off days but I will probably only take one off and jogging in the morning for the other day. Maybe later tonight I'll take a long walk on the treadmill... not sure. No jogging though. Today is the worst day for cramps in my cycle so I feel like I can excuse myself for that reason along with the whole starting a new program thing.

Speaking of which, I haven't really posted about how I've added exercise yet lol... Monday-Saturday I did interval cardio where for 2 minutes I would walk at 3 MPH and 1 minute I would jog at 4MPH with a 2~3 degree incline depending on how strong I was feeling that day. You will see one day where I didn't do so well in the activity level/burn. The reason for that is I was wearing a different pair of shoes than I normally do for the first 7 minutes until I could feel a blister forming. My knees were also hurting from the added impact. It's funny because those shoes, by Nike, are actually DESIGNED for running. The shoes I will ALWAYS use on the treadmill from now on are MBTs, which are amazing.  Anyway, I kicked them off and tried to finish barefoot but that hurt too (thought not as much as the shoes) so I had to stop mid workout to put my good shoes on.

Not as if anyone has been reading, but.... a few things are going to change with the daily intake posts... One is that I am going to date them for the day that the food was eaten, not for when I actually get around to making the post. I figure most people won't read them all that much anyway... it is just more a way for me to keep myself honest. The other thing is that I am no longer going to do the bar charts because they take too much freaken time. I've requested that BodyMedia add that feature to their online application for the Fit... Hopefully they will. It's too bad because it was very informative and helped me know I wasn't doing anything horrible to my body. Maybe I'll enter it in every now and again as a random sampling just to be sure.

Day 20

Green Tea Soy Latte without Syrup STILL = the devil D:

Evil evil starbucks... as soon as I sipped the drink I knew I was in trouble. I assumed it would just be soy milk and maccha, but NO... no, the maccha powder Starbucks uses is sweetened already so even IF you say "unsweetened" what you are really saying is "not extra sweetened".

This was yesterday's mistake... happily I was still under the 1580 limit I'm putting myself under but still... what a horrible mistake. As stated before, plan everything! Research EVERYTHING. the worst thing is there was an apple store just a few stores down... a little preliminary research would have told me that I should have stuck with a black coffee instead, because the damage the green drink will do to your plan is substantial.

Ugh...

The website that my armband connects to is down at the moment, so I can't update my food log or do any of that stuff... Oh well! I think I shall have a lot of interesting news tomorrow!

Day 19