7/13/2011 08:32:00 PM

I so wish I could draw well right now...

One of the leisure activities I had planned for today was to draw a couple of pictures for this blog, but idk.. they just aren't coming out like I wanted... well, I only tried one... but if I can't do that much, there is no point in doing the others lol... I wanted to illustrate the state of my mind :p I have a very vivid picture of all the uh... idk elements at play in my mind atm, and a good metaphore for how they interact. in fact, I even had the idea of doing like a monthly web-comic type thing... but as I said before, my art just isn't up to snuff. Instead, I'll just describe the characters, and the final picture which was going to sum them all up!

Me - (ED-Nos) Size 8... flabby arms and large thighs, smallish waist... you all know my story.  

Design: I wanted it to be a relatively accurate cartoony portrayal of myself... probably in work-out clothing with my hair tied up. The creepy thing would be that there would be no facial features... just a blank there, because I don't know where this journey will end, and although some characteristics (characters?) are making more frequent appearances than others, they are all there, and all have the potential to be the dominant one when this is all over.

Chloe - (COE) She's very pretty... for a fat chick. And it's that condition that pisses her off. She wants to be just plan pretty, but lacks the disapline it takes to lose the weight. In fact, it is outright impossible for her. Everything she sees... touches... smells... she'll eat it all. Her solution? To make everyone else around her fatter than she is... she sucks all the positivity out of those around her, and makes them feel that the only relationship they can depend on is one with food. She is my roommate in the story... 100% moved into my mind, though locked away atm... (more on that when I explain the final picture I wanted to do :p)

Design: To illustrate her absolute lack of control, which she passed on to anyone she is involved with, she was going to have mouths on the palms of her hands, and although the outline of her eyes were to be normal, rather than a normal iris/etc there would be teeth and horrible tongues that stuck out to show her absolute greed. She dresses well, and shows off her figure... which more or less has all the right ratios... just is WAY out of proportion. Probably a size 16-18 US.

something like this... but prettier lol... not all old and skinny like Gollum.
Though, maybe when she's angry her aspect could change?
And of course... tongues.

Ann - (Anorexia-Nervosa) Ann is a neighbor to Chloe and myself. She is a busy-body who is a self-proclaimed 'health-nut'. She looks down on anyone who doesn't eat like she does... and cannot stand people like Chloe who don't admit that their weight issues are their own doing. If, however, a fat person admits they could do something about their situation, she is more than happy to offer her aid in their effort to gain control over their body. First she helps them by suggesting diet changes and coming up with an exercise plan. If the person shows potential, she offers move in with the person and give them more "intensive coaching". 

As she hates Chloe so much, and is pleased with my level of dedication she has asked many times to be allowed more frequent access to the apartment (my mind)... so that she can "help" rid my life of my estranged roommate for good. She can often be found trying to open the door, which has one of those chain locks... so she can't actually get in, but she can always shout comments through the crack. She's frustrated that I won't let her dictate everything, and only listen to her when I choose to... she feels I am impeding my progress by being so stubborn, but I know that if I give her an inch, she'll take a mile. If I let her in 100%, I'll just be replacing one bad roommate with another.

design:  She is, of course, rail thin. Her skin is, in the right light, semi-transparent in-fact so that not only can you see the bumps of bones through it... but outlines of things that wouldn't normally show on a true Ana. She dresses super cute... but not super form fitting. She is always carrying a liter water bottle. Her hands look basically as if they are bones only... since I imagine that is mostly what we would see anyway if this art project ever took off. Below are a few graphic tees by Sullen which would have inspired her look.

Idola (Greek "Vision") - (Ideal Self): Idola is very quiet. She is perfect... or well, my version of perfect. Thigh gap, slim arms... flat tummy, but still feminine. She is an XS but strong and healthy and happy. She doesn't speak much, as she is still just a figment... but she is there to act as a reminder of what I am trying to accomplish when either of the other two are threatening to burst in.

Design: She wears very girly clothing. Frills and above the knee A-line skirts to accent her figure. Everything is fitted in the waist, to show off how small it is... and ruffly on the top, at least in one layer (she usually has 2 and a wide-belt)...

Her makeup is noticeable, especially her cheeks which are rouged in perfectly round circles. Her hair is set beautifully... not a single strand out of place. She looks like a procelin doll. In fact, she even has lines around her mouth to look like it opens just as a dolls would as she is a figment and creation to be sculpted out of hard work and obsession. Her joints may also be obviously like those of a doll or marionette.

The setting for the final image in my mind: 

It's in a room. In the far left, there is a HUGE fridge made of clear glass. It has chains and locks all around it, and we can see Chloe inside, very very angry trying to break out. The door into the apartment is on the far right, and Ann is poking her head in as much as possible saying "We would accomplish so much more if you would just let me in!" Idola has her foot blocking the door's progress open just in case Ann should be able to reach the lock and undo it. I am putting on my running shoes while sitting on the treadmill, which is slightly closer to the right side of the room than the left, and facing diagonally in that direction as well.

so yeah... I wish I could draw better :( It could have been fun...


Dandelion Clock said...


Hard to believe from this that just last week you seemed pretty against the idea of having voices or personalities in your head. When you do something, you really do it properly, don't you!

I love amount of detail you've put into all of them. You really brought them to life.

And CONGRATULATIONS on getting into the healthy weight range! That's awesome! :)

Seems like we kind of have opposite problems. You like your waist but not your arms and legs, and I'm happy with my arms and legs but oh god my big podgy tummy just kills me. If only we could trade with each other a little, we'd both look perfect :P x

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