|Aug 1st||Aug 11th||Change|
Size 6 Obtained... (really?)
at this rate, I think I may be a size 2 when I finish... me. extra small? There's no way... I won't be able to see it, I know that, and it scares me a bit. why isn't there any joy in this disease? Ugh... we encourage each other to see how small they've become and how successful, but sabotage our own progress with negativity and it drives me mad.
I went shopping after my pilates lesson. I needed a new bra, desperately. It was kinda depressing... when the woman measured me she said 34A!! But I actually fit into a 34C. This must mean my breasts are sagging so much that they look thinner when nothing is holding them up :( How disgusting.... my skin sag really is becoming noticeable to me. I know it will take time to get better though, which is another reason I want to try and wait to lose more for at least a year... when I'm done losing i may go for a consult with a plastic surgeon, and talk about what I may do in the future if I keep my weight steady/don't see a significant change naturally. I can make saving up for that procedure my motivation to maintain. Each month I succeed at staying within my goal weight I will put in a certain amount of money to the savings for that or something.
I also bought a necklace picked out about a month ago as a reward for reaching GW5, as I am now under 145. I will only wear it when I am under 145. I may lower the weight limit each time i lose another 5 lbs until 135. So... <135 = necklace. <125 = money into surgery pot... idk, we'll see.
Drank ~680 calories yesterday in orange juice. Burned 2193. so still at that 1500 deficit I've been shooting for during MC. I need to get back up to at least 2400 burned each day I think, but I'll work my way up to that over this week. Maybe... idk, I'm also thinking about just focusing on calorie deficit rather than overall burn goal... BUT, while I'm eating a more or less static diet, they end up being the same thing... so, maybe sticking with burn goal for losing is a good idea, and then figuring out what deficit I need to help my damaged metabolism NOT gain weight and using that as a guideline when having less of a routine (if I ever do) would be a better idea.... hmmm. So much to figure out...
I did a losertown estimation July first... and I'm basically on schedule. When I did it again yesterday... well, here it is!
If it's true, I'll achieve my GW by my goal date even eating 700 calories, and I don't plan to do that... <600 is what it will be except maybe 2-3 days when I eat out. So.... that's good. But, I'll need to up my calorie burn to make it come true... so yeah, 2400 a day at least... maybe back to 2500. idk tho. We'll see how I feel by Wednesday. I'm going to try and up my calorie burn by 50 each day... so
yep... that's the plan for today! Time to go take an hour walk. Then cook soup for tomorrow. So much to do... so little time!