I'm back, for real this time.

For a while I was thinking of just taking the journal down. The whole idea of others getting sick b/c of what I've written just makes me sad. At the same time, there are similar journals that I go back to periodically and re-read and find some sort of comfort in (not that this one has that sort of notoriety or popularity but still...) so, instead.. I wrote a bit of an explanation about who this blog is for... something that will hopefully be read by anyone who reads this journal. 

I don't think it will honestly make a difference for most people... but just in case, above you can see here's my take on the so you want an eating disorder rant trend.... 

In other news. I'm a fatty (big suprise). Since February... I lost some weight, went to a wedding/important interview, got into a grad school program (yay) and then went out of control and barely fit into any of my clothing anymore... it's PATHETIC. 

So... today marks the start of week 3 get skinny before school quest. Week one didn't go perfect, but week two more or less did... I have yet to weigh in (Mondays = judge how the week went days) b/c I still haven't had a BM... and I refuse to let bodily waste confound the results ._.

I won't be posting actual numbers yet... I'm too embarrassed by my mass atm. but basically... my goal is to be back in the 19.x BMI range before September, and it should be doable.

So... the plan? Click read more to see.

I'm doing a modified ABC. The actual ABC calls for an avg intake of 250 per day, but that means far too much malnutrition for the logical bit of my brain to be ok with, so I'm basically doubling it. Minimum burn requirement =2000. Exercise 6x a week (each week adding something new or increasing duration/intensity of something there already). Sundays = 'rest days' but still require the 2000c burn. Here's the intake schedule.

Week 1 0800 0700 0600 0500 0200 0300 0400
Week 2 0300 0900 0000 0600 0500 0800 0400
Week 3 0600 0800 0000 0700 0900 0000 0500
Week 4 0600 0000 0500 0300 0400 1200 0000 
Week 5 0400 0000 0500 0800 0600 0700 0500 
Week 6 0000 0500 0700 0400 0300 1000 0600
Week 7 0200 0300 0400 0500 0700 0800 0600 
Week 8 0000 ....end of ABC my version

The first week I either ran intervals 30min or walked 130 min. 10k steps = requirement

Last week I upped running to 35min min, and added pilates on walking days.

This week, because of how much I noticed my disgusting arm fat flabbing about, I'm added some strength and stretching exercises on running days... the routine will be based on HIIT kinda...

so.... 50s whatever I'm doing, 10s rest.

Round 1: 

Triceps Kick Backs (Left)

Triceps Kick Backs (Right)

Biceps Curls (both)

Crunches (Pilates Style) with feet on floor

Squats - Narrow (feet shoulder width apart)

Round 2: 

Standing Overhead Triceps extensions (Both at once)

Upright Row

Hammar Biceps curls (both)

Crunches (Pilates style) with feet off floor, knees at 90 degree angle

Squats - 'regular' (feet beyond shoulder width, but not really all that wide)

Round 3: 

Laying down triceps push uppy things (kinda the same movement as dips, not as hard)? Not sure what to call them... LEFT

Same as above - Right

Arnold shoulder press  

Crunches (Pilates style) with feet straight up in air

Squats - Wide (Sumo style?) - Toes pointed out, using hands to make sure knees don't go inwards 

This week will be without any weight, just to get used to the movements. Next week I'll up it to 2 lbs each hand (5 for triceps extensions) and decide if I want to get different weights for each exercise or not  the following week... I don't really want to build any bulk, so if I feel there is even a little bit of challenge with the 2 lbs, I'll stick with same weight for all exercises (though eventually I'll go up to 10lbs I think). 

Dietary Rules: 

<55g of carb, including fiber

Aim for at least 50g protein

Fats must be of the Omega line or from coconut oil (if added) - and are only welcome at breakfast unless attached naturally to a protein source (i.e. even chicken breast has fat... nothing I can do about that).

Once this dietary restriction is done, I will up calories to 800 per day with a weekly 500c protein fast day (anticipated loss of 2 lbs per week) and once I'm <19.9 BMI (131), I will add 100c each week until I'm up to 1200 (except the 500c protein fast day, which will remain the same). Once I'm <125 I will try to further increase my calories so that basically... I'm allowed to take in 80% of whatever my avg daily burn was the previous week... so on avg, I guess 1600ish That sounds so high though... ugh... but, 122 is 18.5 for me. I do want to get there (maybe by new years?) but slowly... More than weight right now I'm actually obsessing about measurements. 

I've linked size charts to NY&C, Express, and maybe victoria secrets before, but their "0" is too big... I want to be a Guess 1 (0) which is 31.5x23x33. I don't know what weight/BMI that will require but at my smallest, which was 125.6 (19.1 BMI) with <15% BF my waist was 25"... so, I doubt I can achieve that size at a healthy weight. 

Ah well, down the rabbit hole I go.

Patti - Thank you for the comment. One of the reasons I stopped writing here was b/c I didn't feel people were reading.. so what was the point. I will write more often now. 

Anyway... time to go start my busy busy day.