God... why can't I keep up a decent blog? Seriously!

I don't know how people manage to blog on a regular basis. I really wish I could... for one it would actually get me a following, maybe, which would be nice. I like getting comments (not fishing for one btw!). It would also probably help to keep me accountable/etc... and de-stress. I could have used that 'therapy' yesterday...

I was really faint... like, cold sweats, can barely see straight or move, feel like I'm about to puke faint. restriction, of course is part of the problem... so I allowed myself a full fat 0 sugar latte rather than skipping lunch (what I've been doing this whole month....) probably about 200 extra calories, but not passing out is worth it... or at least, that is what I keep trying to tell myself. I also realized that I could *not* have dinner since I did have lunch, but the dinner I found waiting for me (i'm at a host family atm) was safe, so I decided to accept the extra calories and face the consequences (.8kg loss lol... god I hate solid waste).

Aside from restriction, I also didn't sleep much for the previous 2-3 days so I'm thinking that was also a huge contributor. Today I managed 5 hrs, before waking up naturally, and I feel much better.


anyway.... last month's summary...

		March
	Starting weight	Week 1 (03/10)	Week 2 (03/17)	Week 3 (03/24)	Week 4 (03/31)
Total loss (WTD)		-1.60	-1.10	-1.95	0.65
Total loss (MTD)		-1.60	-2.70	-4.65	-4.00
Total loss (YTD)		-1.60	-2.70	-4.65	-4.00
FW KG	74.10	72.50	71.40	69.45	70.10
FW (WTD)	163.02	159.50	157.08	152.79	154.22
ΔLBS		-3.52	-2.42	-4.29	1.43
FBMI (WTD)	24.76	24.22	23.86	23.20	23.42

I.. of course... had a major BM on the 31st, which brought be down another kg (2 within 3 days... i know, it's crazy!)... but that didn't show up on the scales until April 1st, so March.... I just reached my minimum goal of 1kg loss per week. 

Anyway.... today I woke up 22.8BMI, and 150lbs... my important event, the one I wanted to be <150lbs for is next week, so looks like my wish will come true... also, I said that if I had lost 5kg before the 5th I could get my nails done (for the event)... so I did yesterday, b/c yesterday I had reached that mark.

Things are feeling up. the only downside is I will have to purge after the event I have next week... *sigh* I really don't like knowing that I will be 

1. eating unsafe things 

2. purging them as soon as I can 

in advanced... It feels... weird.

Goals for April:

-Pilates EVERY DAY (i was about 66% last month)

-walk at least 1 hr, ideally 2-3 each day

-avg 260c a day.... (?) (still debating this, I found a 30day modified ABC I kinda want to do... but not sure if the .5 extra lb per week is really worth the risk of binging... hmmm... will decide by Tuesday next week - it would start on wednesday if I did it).

- lose at least 5kg. ideally 6-7...

basically, I want to be in the 130s by may

also, joining a challenge on the forums I visit.. it starts tomorrow - lose 4bmi points in 100 days. It's actually very reasonable. for me... 1 BMI point = 3kg, more or less... so 6.6lbs. This means i'd need to lose 26.5lbs in 100 days. That's just over 1 lb every 4 days. totally doable, as long as I don't fuck up =] If I manage it, it means I'll be 18BMI range at the end (July 12th). sounds... excellent.