3/10/2014 12:43:00 PM

Pride, guilt and shame all at once.

No change today. I guess that’s better than a gain but still frustrating. This week totaled in -1.6 (Tuesday morning until Monday morning) I guess that only counts 6 days worth of losses, but next week it will count 7, so that’s fine. I would love it if I could keep this pace… it would mean -.5 BMI a week, which would be fantastic, but idk how realistic that is, especially when I don’t have control over half of my food.

Last night, when I got home after a reception dinner for a 3 day event I’m participating in, during which I had 2 slices of pear, 2 slices of watermelon, a small mandarin orange and 2 grape tomatoes (guessing 150c to be safe… probably less though) I found an incredibly unsafe dinner waiting for me… unsafe because it was mostly a sweet potato. Proud b/c I didn’t even think about eating it… feeling guilty b/c I threw away food that someone else could have eaten it… except then they would know I didn't… and feeling ashamed because I’m too old to be pulling shit like this... can't fucking wait to be living on my own again.


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