3/12/2014 10:30:00 PM

Goal acceleration

Couldn't even go a week without wanting to speed up my goals... I frequent a forum where people with EDs chat about well... ED related stuff lol... What rules they are following, how much exercise, how to exercise, complaints about life etc. It's a good place, and I honestly believe these 'pro-ana' sites serve an important purpose. I know of 3 people who's lives were saved through the networks they had created on these sites... in fact, I am one of the people who was responsible for saving one of these three... Suicide attempts all caught in time, because the members of these sites look out for each other.

BUT, they do/can trigger/encourage us to go more headlong into the disease (which is often part of the appeal to those of us who are not trying to recover... helps to 'motivate'). I generally do not frequent these websites when I'm in a binge cycle (i.e. all of winter), but when the days get longer, and I start to restrict again they kinda become a bit like crack to me... and well - one of the members created a .5BMI/Week loss challenge... which I have decided to try this week... even though that means losing an extra .5kg

The idea of dropping a whole BMI point every other week (vs every 3... yeah, doesn't *really* make that much of a difference but, feels like it does) is just... so appealing. I did it last week, by mistake... and then saw this challenge and thought "well, maybe that wasn't just water loss b/c I just started restricting again. I used to lose 3-4 lb every week... why not go for that again? at least for this week." but I know that it won't just be this week, that losing less than I did one week before will feel like failure and so this will likely become my new goal.

This happens to many of us... whether it's going deeper into restriction, or reducing our "Ultimate Goal Weight" when we hit the target or get near to it... it never ends. I've never been able to maintain at a low weight for more than a few months... so it doesn't make me worry about myself too much, but if I ever were able to shut off the binging completely... well, then I do worry a bit - although I also dream about the day that will happen.

Week 1 Results:
SW: 74.1 kg               163.02 lb              24.76 BMI
EW: 72.5 kg               159.50 lb              24.22 BMI
Loss:   1.6kg                3.5 lb                       .54 BMI

Now... if only I had my BF scale so I could see the details. Ah well, it's in another country... I'll get to check it in about a month.


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