but.... the math? (Cycle 3)

I hope I haven't used this image before... I DL it a while ago for this blog.

Anyway... the day after I posted YAY 140.5, i regained about 2.5 lbs of what I assume was water weight post laxatives... which almost undid all the good the laxatives did. wtf. *sigh* I need to up fiber/cals again once this 02468 is done so that I can have moments by myself... anyway, I was stuck at 143 for two days, and today - weigh in for end of cycle three, thank goodness, saw a drop again in overall number (Fat has been moving down consistently at least). 141.7 today..




So, Start of Cycle 3: 143.9
                       End:   141.7

2.2 loss, not bad. but not as good a I was hoping, because I was pretty sure the 143.9 was the result of backup.. ah well.


Intake/Output:

	S	S	M	T	W	Average:
Plan (in)	400	600	800	200	0	400
Actual (in)	380	596	792	183	0	390.2
Plan (Out)	2400	2400	2400	2400	2400	2400
Actual (out)	2430	2412	2358	2168	2733	2420

Food was no problem but exercise was. On monday I overestimated how many C i would burn while basically at rest. Seems my metabolism has changed... Tuesday, had a big event related to trying to find a job and it interrupted my exercise schedule... so made sure I hit over 2100, and then said the rest can be made up on wednesday - which I begrudgingly and successfully did. yay for that.

Halfway done now. 3 more cycles to go. Have found myself arguing with ED more recently. But it wins, so really whats the point? My legs still feel like Jello from yesterdays five hour walk... and yet within 45 min I will embark on a 3 hr walk (at least). ah well.

p.s. title of post is b/c I should have lost more over the last 15 days.... currently, 7.2 lbs lost, but should be 2000*15=30,000  30,000/3,500 = 8.57 so 1.3 lb short.... which would bring me back to 140.4 which would have been perfect.

Random (unweightloss related!!!) thoughts

A little whimsical thinspo for ya'll since at least something has to be pretty/relevant to the blog in this post eh?

Changed comments so that they have to be approved to be posted on the site. This isn't b/c I really mind if someone offensive is said to me. I will probably still post it so long as it is at least slightly intelligent. It is b/c that way, if you want to say something just to me, but not to the world you can. Just let me know if you DONT want me to publish it publicly, mkay?

And... idk, I'm weird and actually look at the stats for the hits i get on a nearly daily basis. Today, one of the search terms that brought someone to the blog was "I'm fasting, should I take potassium?" Made me smile for some reason =] Just in case that person comes back... The answer is if it's an extended fast and you're still being active, you probably should. If it's short and you're not sweating a lot, you probably don't NEED to, but it still wouldn't hurt as long as you space it out.

It's nice to think that maybe there is SOME actually helpful (rather than harmful) information to be found here... anyway... Peace Out lovelies. Gonna try to sleep another hour before exercising.

(Note: couldn't get back to sleep so added this...) Oh. Also... if you are in the US and have the opportunity to do so... Please participate in kiss more chicks day! I am not a lesbian... but the national 'chick filet day' made me want to vomit... and not b/c their food is FUCKING DISGUSTING. The sad thing is I think most of the people I saw participating in it probably didn't even know what the real issue was... though who can blame them, lots of news reports on the topic are failing to cover the whole story. It isn't just that Cathy has bigoted thoughts... if that was all it was, then whatever. I'd actually be all for the gesture on Wednesday if it were truly about freedom of thought and speech, even if it's protecting the freedom to have really dumb opinions... but it isn't just about that. Cathy has donated MILLIONS of dollars to anti-LGBT rights groups.


at least the LA times had the decency to point to this report... (a few others did too... but this was the most unbiased source I could find that actually pointed to the donation issue...)

I've posted about similar things before... (Gold's Gym specifically)  and well... in summary here's my thought on the matter of personal freedom... you are free to do whatever you please and think whatever you want so long as it doesn't infringe on another person's freedom to do the same goddamned thing. i.e. you want to be a bigot and bitch about traditional family values - fine. You want to use your money and influence to block another person's civil rights... NOT OK.

Two things I'd like to ask those who believe in the anti-gay marriage movement... they are kinda related but...

1. How does it hurt you/your faith if someone else does something that contradicts it?
2. Is forcing someone to do the 'biblically correct' thing really moral/right in gods eyes? Aren't we supposed to be BEYOND the age of law? I thought the whole POINT of Christ's coming and going and coming again was to eradicate the law, and make religion/holiness accessible on the INDIVIDUAL level. if you take away the choice to do what is 'right', does that really count?

btw... Comparative Religion was one of my majors... So I'm not just talking out of my ass here...

/rant off.

August 1st Update

-2.9, but only -1.1 from fat since last weigh in. All things considered this is probably something I should be happy about. Fucking vacation binge.

Fat attack started today! Two major things changed to make me say that.

1. Today marks the first of a 7 day protein fast. 500c in =] all as liquid protein drinks. I was going to allow 600c... but I think 500 sounds good, so I'll stick with that.

2. Changed my running up a bit. New interval pattern = 3mph 4mph 5mph 6mph 5mph 4mph (1min each, x7). My aim is to be doing a 5k in 40 min by the end of the month... and in 33min by the end of September.... though I may change that... BECAUSE

My future classmates (starting grad school this September... ABROAD CANNOT FKN WAIT) have suggested that we do a marathon together... We have about 6 months to train (it would be sometime in February...)  I wonder if that's enough time ;( Anyway, I have about a month to decide, so I'll base my descision on how the next 3 weeks of intervals goes, and how quickly I am able to increase the 6mph duration... Basically... I think I'd want that to be the majority of my pace for the run so that I could finish it in <5 hrs. (I edited this b/c I'M a RETARD and thought marathons were 25km not 26.whatever MILES sorry...). anyway, a <5 hr marathon would be quite an accomplishment since atm I can only manage a 42min 3.11miles lol. IDK, are any of you runners? is 6 months enough time... hmmm, I may have to ask my fitocracy friends :3

So... what else. July was ok, I guess. -9.9 lbs, -7.5 from fat. If I can duplicate those results I'll be able to cross of all but 2 (perhaps... maybe 1...) of my short-term goals, for-which the deadline is before september in my mind... though I guess as long as it's before the end of september I can be 'ok' with it.

I can't remember if I wrote the timeline I'd like to see out or not but... basically... If I can be <132.0 and <18% BF before Sept. I'll be happy. Repeating the loss I had this month would put me at 128.8 and 19.1% BF...

<122 (<18.5) is my GW for New Years Eve 2013. Assuming (large assumption) I do repeat last months results this month... that would mean I'd only have to lose 7 lbs in 3 months. That's quite slow for me actually... I'm fast to gain and fast to lose... BUT, I think it's a good thing. I'd like to accomplish that rate... BECAUSE, I really hate the cold heavy duty restriction causes... so losing slowly during the cooler months suits me just fine, so long as I still lose.

I've already started dreaming up calorie limits and deficit goals and stuff... when what calories will be consumed etc... but it's premature to speak of such things just yet. Let's get the short-term goals taken care of first silly girl... then the future plotting may begin.

Also Cammie, Thank you for the comment. I <3 <3 <3 getting them xo

Week 4 of 'abc' reflection & Plans

Ok well, time to summarize.

avg calories burned: 2281

Steps: 12421

Physical Activity: 1:42 hrs per day (16min vigorous/86min moderate)

avg calories in: 425

Saturday I had a social event. I allowed for, and consumed as best as I can estimate, 1200calories... it was disgusting. On top of the sheer mass of food (all protein/fat but still) I was exposed to gluten. The good thing - it will give me an excuse to be super careful NO MATTER WHAT. because all I had was roasted meat, but clearly it was cut on or with something that was contaminated. 

And just in time! I have a family vacation coming up this week. We leave in two days. I was worried about being able to properly restrict, but after saturday I think I can justify whatever I do saying "dude... what's more important to you? That I spend my time on vacation eating out with you all and then potentially being bed ridden for 2-3 days... or that I be able to enjoy the activities we have planned?" This makes me happy... now if only I can manage to really pull it off. 

I plan to eat out at least 1-2x (and have the rest of the food as left-overs the following day)... it will all be steamed, b/c I truly feel that it is probably the safest way for food to be cooked for me... that or pan-fried but ew ;( 

Planned Calorie Allowance: 

M: 200

T: 0

W: 500

Th: 800

F: 800

Sa: 800

Sun: 400

HOWEVER, I fasted today (Monday) and will fast again tomorrow (3 days in a row! feels good <3) so, I have 200c that I will allow myself to play with on Wednesday/Sunday. 

What I've purchased so far for the trip...

• Cauliflower to make LF Cauliflower bread with (Egg whites/ground cauliflower that has been de-moisturized and spice... no cheese).
• Egg whites (for above, and breakfasts...)
• 13g Flax per day (I may bake this into the bread actually... undecided, need to do some calculations)
• Gluten Free Deli Meat for lunch 
• 4 pre-packaged packets of Tuna/Salmon (2 each 70~90c each) - they don't need to be kept cold, so if I need them, they are there, but they won't go to waste if I don't. 
• Yellow Mustard for the sandwiches 
• Kay's Naturals Protein Puffs (may not actually have any... they have grains in them :( I thought they were grain free, but now they are quite low on the 'semi-safe' status list)
• 1 Zucchini
• 1 Cucumber
• 1 Green Pepper (all three above are to be snack foods for the trip to the place + 50c hummus... not yet purchased)
• 3 Roma tomatoes (for sandwiches)

What's left that I've planned: 

• pre-packaged 63c hummus dip (3g fat, 1g fibre, 6g protien, 3g carb) 
• 70c String Cheese (Tomato Basil Flavor... omg so good, hope I can get my co-travelers to eat most of it ._.) 

Dinners out will be seafood I think. Shrimp/Scallops maybe... generally low cal. Maybe I can convince them to go to a chinese place and get steamed veg/shrimp or something hmm. 

I weighed in on Sunday rather than today. Was worried that after a fast day it would be unrealistically low, and therefore demoralizing when I came back from the trip. in 6 days I lost 1.7lbs, -1.1 from fat. Not so hot :( That said, it was a weigh in after a massive meal, and a gluten exposure (read bloat) so... idk, maybe it isn't too bad. It's the right direction at least. 

I want to weigh in the morning before we leave, but that will be after 3 days of fasting, so I don't think that's a good idea, which means only 1 weigh in this week :/ *nervous* 

Monday next week will be a fast, then 500c for the next 8 days... I'm not abandoning the calorie cycling plan I've been doing, just putting it on hold. I want to do a protein shake fast August 1-7th like I did at the start of each month last year. Fingers crossed... I'll be <21 BMI by the start of the protein fast (August 1st ... unlikely, but maybe...) And <20BMI halfway through August. (2nd or 3rd week?)

After that, I'll need to do ~2 free meals sadly (leaving party [i'm moving far far away] and US Birthday) :( UCH and 1 after that (Real Birthday)... So long as I'm back <20 BMI before classes start though... I guess it will be ok.

Alright, that's enough rambling! Time to lift some weights :3

Quick post laxative update.

In summary... disappointing.

I'm up a lb from Saturday. The only good thing is I'm down 1 lb of FAT since saturday, so I'm guessing the extra weight is probably from some of the water balance issues laxatives cause... and that I will see good numbers all around next time I weigh in.

Fast today. Also... going to look into what KIND of fibre I'm getting mostly. If it' all soluble and to lots of insoluble... that might explain things. idk... I just hate taking laxatives at all. Though I don't think in this case, it was abuse since I only had 1/2 dose, and was truly in need.

Thought of the day - If food were pure, we wouldn't need to do #2. There wouldn't be any waste to get rid of.

Note: To those who think they want an ED - Do you really want to be this obsessed with poop? You will be... 

K... will be responding to comments that were posted in my absence and writing about a few other things tonight I think =]

Stay strong! I know I'll have to. About to go on a 5mile walk... then do my 30x15 different exercises... and as I said before, today is a fast day!

The Plan

Tomorrow is the first day of the Februrary Business week at my company, so it seems to be as good of an arbitrary starting point as any. Here's the plan for the next month~

Jan 29th - Feb 7th  - Liquid Protein "Fast"   600 calories from Whey or Casein protien unless I'm working 10 hours or more that day, in which case I can have up to 800. The only other things I can consume are tea, supplements (20c from fish oil and vit E... but I'm not counting them towards my limit... ), fat burning energy drinks, ECA stack (pre-workout), and *maybe* a small serving of hot cereal to get at least a little bit for my bowels to do something with... that would count toward calorie limit total of course. Maybe fiber supplements too if I feel like my bowels are acting funny :/

Feb 8th -10th (or longer) - 400C from Protein Shakes, 200c from vegetables (raw) until bowels are regular again.

Feb 11th - replace morning shake with egg whites and raw veggies with cooked

Feb 12th - replace lunch protien shake with Fish

Feb 13th - All meals back to "Normal"

Feb 14th ~29th - 600c limit most days with 1-2 days a week up to 800 (probably only from almonds for some healthy fats...)

First weigh in will be Feb 1st, so... Wednesdays and Saturdays I guess. I can't bear to see where I'm starting until I've cleaned out all of the glycogen and shit from my body... I know the first three days will mostly be water loss, but I don't think I can deal with the number on the scales until that bit has gone. I'll write a more detailed meal plan for Feb 11th on in a few days... I want to re-evaluate what I've done in the past and see if there are any improvements I can make to get more of my micro-nutrients from foods (i.e. is Kale really the best green veg I can take in? Maybe turnip greens would be better...).

Exercise Goals:

Week 1: Get steps back up to 10,000. Don't care about how much vigerous vs. moderate exercise I do. Burn at least 2000 calories a day. Gauge how much the 10,000 steps contributes and re-evaluate the burn goal by the end of the week.
Week 2: Add Pilates videos in every day
Week 3: Pick up intensity of cardio activity to include at least 10 minutes of vigerous activity. Maybe switch to HIIT every other day from Pilates.
Week 4: Add at least 5 minutes to vigorous activity.

re-feeding solids take 2

i should have more protien too... but idk... not ready to go over 600 just yet. :(

a wrench in refeeding

I felt pretty sick after breakfast today, and didn't even make my oat bran oatmeal because I was so over full... which is crazy because all I had was 103g of spinach and 112g (while raw) egg whites... so, no fish for tomorrow. Until breakfast goes down easily I'm sticking with veggies + shakes for lunch/dinner. Tomorrow they will all be cooked though, cuz i'm out of the raw ones.

I remember reading somewhere that you should take as many days as you were on a fast to come out of one... I'm not sure if that's really necessary or not, but I do know that I am going to listen to my body and take solid food one step at a time. It's interesting... despite trying to add more food to my intake because of how I felt all morning I ended up skipping 1 whey shake today, so my total calories for the day were the same as they had been all last week... yesterday was only a 30 calorie increase... hmmm.

End of Fast Weigh In

Weight: 185.6
BF%: 34.3
Muscle Mass: 51.8


Changes from Pre-Fast Weigh in

-5.4 lbs
-3.57 lbs of fat
-.8 lbs of muscle


Changes from Thursday Weigh in

-1.4 lbs
+.08 lbs of fat
-1.5 lbs of muscle

now it will be interesting to see what my body does with solid food back in it....

Refeeding Plan Revised

So, I've decided to make tomorrow a shake + veggies only day. My first idea was to have a normal breakfast, but I think that will be too much change. Instead, I have divided up a number of raw veggies to be snacked on during the day. I will not force myself to take in anymore than I am hungry for... but assuming I did eat them all, I would be going from approximately 550 calories in a day to roughly 800.

Instead I think I'll end up eating them over two days, and add egg to breakfast on the second. the third will be fish + cooked veggies, and the forth day will be back to normal. I'd love to stick with raw veggies all the time, but I can't :( it's too expensive at the quantities I eat. I also wanted to go all organic, especially during this re-feeding time... but without any WholeFoods markets in the whole state, and the only organic market I know about being quite far from where I work... I was limited by the horrible selection at the market I went to. I'll have to plan a bit better next time I guess... Ah well.

Fast 1 Day 3 - Casein is still chunky :(

what the peach mango
might as well have been

I returned the vile whey protien today and got a second 3 pound tub of the chocolate kind, which has a few more calories, but is infinitely easier to drink. I will try the vanilla flavor tomorrow too, as a drink, to see how it is, because it's 0 carb AND in the bran oatmeal like stuff it's tasty so... maybe that would be good.

I got a bigger shaker bottle today to try and solve the chunky casein issue, and it helped but it still wasn't perfect. Maybe tomorrow night will be better. In summation, day 3 is done without any temptation to break the fast, so I think I'll be fine until Saturday.

After the fast is done, I think I will look at the master cleanse as a possible fast for June. It will depend on where I'm working I think... Right now it would be impossible to do that because I drive too much and imagine I would be quite tired on the 10 day cleanse.... but I'm trying to get a new job, or at least a more stable position in my current company, and hopefully by June I will have accomplished that!

If I can't do the master cleanse, I might go for a mostly vegetable juice fast, at least for 3-4 days. After that I will probably switch back to protien because I am quite scared of losing muscle... at least until I'm closer to my end goal. at 128 lbs having 50+ lbs of muscle as a girl wouldn't be normal... though if it looks good, I'll keep it! For now it's vital though.

My take on the Protiens I am taking

Well.. for flavors...

Chocolate (Whey) >> Raspberry Smoothie (Casein) >>>>>Cookies and Cream (Whey) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Peach Mango (Whey).

Honestly, the Raspberry Smoothie is actually very tasty, I just didn't mix it very well so it's kinda chunky which is gross :( I think I'll like it a lot though once I figure out how to mix it right. It's very thick though... so it will be VERY important to make sure there is a lot of time between my last whey shake and the Casein one. Also... it seems like it would be much more filling, so I'm wondering if Whey throughout the day is really the way to go.

I really want to get in touch with a nutritionist, though I'm sure they will just say "That's really unhealthy, diet the normal way" to which I'll laugh... because normal doesn't work for me. I can't stick with it long enough. /sigh.

Fast 1 Day 2 blues

 I didn't drink a shake before my workout, because it seemed to be ok yesterday but I couldn't do probably 30% of it :( I got that whole sick/need to vomit feeling I wrote about during my first work out 3 weeks ago. So... I think I'll go back to my original plan which is to drink a shake first thing when I wake up.

Part of this may be the whole "you shouldn't work out a lot during a fast" thing, but I don't buy that. I just won't push myself as hard if I feel sick, thus the half-assed but I'm still going to count it workout today.


Because I don't feel well now, I plan to do the ab portion of the workout when I get home from work. Funfun.

unrelated but... morning weigh in:

189 LBS!! (I am not going to mark it off as official until my Thursday weigh in though. if it stays that way for a few days, I figure it can count)
-1.48 LBS of fat
+-0 LBS of muscle! (I'll take it!)

Sloshy Tummy

Day one of the fast is nearly complete. I didn't feel many pangs, largely because I am actually taking in calories I'm sure. I did, however, feel the liquids sloshing about inside sometimes. It was kind of uncomfortable. I have the casien shake left to drink... but I'm not hungry at all :( I need to go to bed soon though, and can't afford to lose muscle, so I think I'll have to suck it up =/

I also discovered that drinking nearly 1.5 liters of ice cold water in a short time causes me significant discomfort. I'm all for burning more calories by being cool, but I was downright freezing and didn't feel better until I worked out to the point of sweating.


Update: After posting this, I waited for another half hour but was still too full to drink another shake so my total intake for the day was 120 calories less than it should have been. Ah well!

pre-fast weigh-in

I kinda wish the fast were starting on the same day a new workout week does, but oh well! I gotta have a measurement to compare to to see how this experiment works out.

Weight 191 (-1 since last weigh in)
BF% 35.2 (+.6%.... +.8 lbs =[)
Muscle: 52.6 lbs (-2.2 lbs =[)

Overall number went the right way, and honestly +3 lbs of muscle in one week seemed quite unrealistic so... who knows? Other thing is I did a weight lifting workout yesterday so maybe they are still building up... I really don't know how exactly this whole thing works (clearly)

Today, I have two work outs. I've decided to do the cardio one before work (and before driking my first shake) and the toning one after work (with a shake just before it) because there is some other stuff I am supposed to do before work and I probably won't have time to do it and both work outs.