Still can't weigh in...

Urgh! Despite having 30g of fibre yesterday, no love this morning in the lady's room so... I can't weigh in, which is making me nervous. I think I'll have to take some laxatives tonight... fucking hate this shit, but the damage of seeing my body weight + waste will just be too high...

All I can think about, all I have thought about the last two hours, is how full I feel even though I haven't had anything yet today. So tempted to fast, but that is for tomorrow... must stick with the plan. *ugh ugh ugh*. Worst part is, a BM will happen today... just not in time for me to weigh in...

in the mean time, I think I will measure my waist/hips/bust to see if there has been any progress... mathematically I should have lost ~5lbs of fat by now since the last measurement, and that was when I wanted to use the tape measure next anyway.
...

-.75" from bust
-.75" from waist
-1.0" from hips

so... down roughly 1 size in about 2 weeks. Wish I knew the fat% and weight... but at least that's something!

Time to go run! Guess I'll do my pilates tonight after work since I'll need to cook once I'm done. *sigh*

I'm back, for real this time.

For a while I was thinking of just taking the journal down. The whole idea of others getting sick b/c of what I've written just makes me sad. At the same time, there are similar journals that I go back to periodically and re-read and find some sort of comfort in (not that this one has that sort of notoriety or popularity but still...) so, instead.. I wrote a bit of an explanation about who this blog is for... something that will hopefully be read by anyone who reads this journal. 

I don't think it will honestly make a difference for most people... but just in case, above you can see here's my take on the so you want an eating disorder rant trend.... 

In other news. I'm a fatty (big suprise). Since February... I lost some weight, went to a wedding/important interview, got into a grad school program (yay) and then went out of control and barely fit into any of my clothing anymore... it's PATHETIC. 

So... today marks the start of week 3 get skinny before school quest. Week one didn't go perfect, but week two more or less did... I have yet to weigh in (Mondays = judge how the week went days) b/c I still haven't had a BM... and I refuse to let bodily waste confound the results ._.

I won't be posting actual numbers yet... I'm too embarrassed by my mass atm. but basically... my goal is to be back in the 19.x BMI range before September, and it should be doable.

So... the plan? Click read more to see.

Ugh...

I've messed up the template a bit trying to accomidate the width of a widget I've added. I'll fix it tonight... gotta go exercise before work. Sorry it looks off atm :(

Weigh in

Well, I weighed in today for the first time in 16 days... not a happy result. My weight weight is about the same it was 16 days ago, which is... good? I mean, I wasn't working on losing so it's good i haven't gained. BUT, my fat content is WAY TO HIGH. disgustingly high. 136.8... so, to get to lw i need to lose 11.1 lbs.... BUT ... 32.7 lbs of FAT OMG. I must be <20 to be happy... so 12.8 lbs need to go byebye, which is actually challenging but doable in one month so that's my goal. No FUCKING UP allowed this month. Reward for achieving this goal will be 1 meal with friends where I can go out and drink. A little rice will be allowed... maybe I'll go to a Mongolian hot-pot place... it's mostly veggies and meat, which is my safe list anyway. This meal, and this is a rule I intend to keep up from now on... will be followed by a 36 hr fast (I won't eat at all the next day). Which will then be followed by a 6 day protien fast most likely, as I'll probably still be aiming to lose. Yay! I already feel like I'm back on track.

Weigh in days this month will be Wednesdays and Saturdays.

LOVE YOU ALL, time to burn calories -------- weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Aleksandra Wydrych

Someone in the community I frequent found these, and made a thread called "TOBF's favorite" (TOBF = my un on the forums in case you didn't see the connection with the title of the blog). If I ever meet this girl (the one on the forums) irl, I will do something wonderful for her in gratitude. I'm not sure what lol... maybe bring her some nice things from Japan as I have friends there and she loves the culture... Anyway... It's been a while, and the model needs more exposure because she truly is perfect in every way.

I have over 100 images of her... so here is just a spattering of them. All red haired, though there are some where she is blond or dark haired as well.